Saturday 22 June 2013

Haunted By Love...

5th June

Alas ! he's not here now .
It happened so fast I couldn't react. There was nothing left for me to do by that time. I thought I wouldn't live to see this. It almost meant the end to everything that I had ever dreamt of. I simply couldn't bear the weight of the fact that now he wouldn't be with me. All those things that I would say to him when he'd hold my hands, when he'd look into my eyes, when he'd hug me and hold me tight in his cozy arms.But Alas!now   he's not here.
All these thoughts are haunting me since he left. But why would it be him.This day ,this time ,this moment, I'v realised that it wasn't he who is responsible for my sadness, it was me.I couldn't tell him the truth.I couldn't tell him how special he was. I couldn't tell him how much I loved him.But Alas! now he's not here.

4th June,
Its been four days since he passed away but still he's in my head and I don't think I'll ever get over him and his memories.His thoughts aren't allowing me to do so .Its like he's there with me, with every breath that I take, with every word that I say and with every moment that I spend without him.But I want him to be with me. Oh God! please tell me why wouldn't You let him be with me.

5th june,
Concerned about me,Jennifer came to visit me today. I told her about how I felt about Kevin, how much I loved him and how guilty I felt when I couldn't be with him when he probably needed me the most.She was trying to consolidate me that its too late now there's no point crying over spilt milk as he's already gone now. But I couldn't tell her that that's what I haven't been feeling. I still feel he's here.

6th june,
Dream! it was just a dream. Its now been six sleepless nights but today I felt him closer to me than ever. Its like he was standing there in front of me holding my hands coming close to my cheeks which were already wet with tears of joy, but instead he whispered something in my ears, something which made me frown at him in astonishment, something I seldomn remember. I'm still thinking did he love me so obsessively or was it I who wanted him to love me so desparately. May be it was I.

8th june,
Hangouts! will they help me. Atleast that's what people around me are suggesting. We went today to the central park. Jeniffer introduced me to a friend of Kevin,Sam .There was certainly something unusual going on with him. He stared at me like he knew me. But who cared! I wasn't there to socialise.Hanging out wasn't helping.

9th june,
Those dreams are getting worse and its something I'm not able to get in my head. They are getting stranger day by day. 'The Same Dream' except for the smile that he is often known for was fading. I couldn't understand why ? I tried to ask him " Have I offended you?" and he walked away in most unpleasing manner. BEEP BEEP and it was just a dream. It was just a dream?
10th june,
Now I'm trying to find sense in these meaningless dreams. I read an article that nothing happens without a reason even when you're dreaming . But  the question is can it be true? espcially when they are recurring. GOD please help me! now I'm chasing nightmares.

11th june,
Today everything is getting clear. These dreams are finally making sense. but can I trust them afterall they are mere dreams which are away from reality. Today he held my hands and gave them into other familiar looking pair of hands. Hands bearing a bracelet with letter K inscribed on it. He wants me to get over him by entering into some new relationship? How easy is that to think but to imply, it might be the next impossible thing for any lover. but hands with bracelet interested me the most those weren't any random pair of hands I remember them seeing recently. But again they're just DREAMS!

12th June,
Revelations was all that was left for me to discover. Things, DREAMS, more specifically weren't anything that was without sense but it really was him. My cell ranged today. Number unknown but voice certainly recognisable. Kevin's friend! He wanted to meet to discuss something important, something that mattered to both of us. but the only thing we had in common was Kevin. I went to cafe where he was waiting already. His eyes were red, and face pale.He looked at me and said "Its wasn't  just you".Those words brought goosebumps in my body .He slowly passed a papper to me and there it was ,the very same bracelet with K on it and the same hand. Is he the one? the one in dream. The words in the letter confirmed it. I read with the same damped eyes as the one who wrote it.The letter read......


"Its always supernatural and impossible, unless it happens to you.But believe, it was really me .These might be my last words to you and may be the hardest to speak ,but for you've loved me like nobody else, I thus say to you MOVE ON"